Category Archives: #MinnegeddonPartDeux

#MinnegeddonPartDeux…if you will just bear with me…

My greatest character fault (that I am aware of; undoubtedly there are others) is that I have a tendency to speak in a matter-of-fact manner about issues that are to others somewhat extraordinary. To add to that failure, I then anticipate that I have won everyone over when, in fact, I may have just left them confused or scared.

As I look at this situation objectively, I can now, after the passage of time, say that I can think of absolutely no reason why anyone should find me or what I say credible. I can hardly imagine, in hindsight, what my poor flute teacher, who was Principal Flute for the MO at the time, for example, was going through. I think, in our own way, each of us was trying to work with the other, without having any understanding of just how wide the gap was. A few months after I started studying with him, he had a near-fatal heart attack. His magnificent sound was compromised, and I don’t think he ever really got it back. After that he seemed somewhat reluctant to schedule lessons with me, and kept sending me off on rabbit trails, as well has having outbursts of what I can now call angry sarcasm at some of the questions I asked. For example, I asked him about his breathing technique on a tricky excerpt. His answer was, “Well, it’s simple. You breathe in, you breathe out.” I much belatedly realized how severely his breath support had been compromised by his health issues. I was, in fact, a poster child for insensitivity in that regard.

And so, I am sure it has been with others with a trained ear. Something that cannot be grasped, something that cannot be controlled, where I seem to be hearing things I am not supposed to be able to grasp (one player ranted and raved because I was singing the ‘inner voices’ to a piece we were listening to. (I still don’t quite get that…:-0)

But at any rate, though, if you meet me in person you will find that I am quite silly and irreverent; in fact, a total opposite of what most anyone would see as a ‘credible musician’. But on the other hand, if you happen to be at all interested, I encourage you to test what I say, rather than just tossing my statements into the trash, so to speak. And in the process, perhaps ask yourself if die zauberflote is so magic that it not only caused a 200M arts organization to come to a grinding halt in order to (as well as for other more obvious reasons) undo damage that was done to me and my three little children, might you then possibly ask yourself if it is impossible that the entire cast of the opera Die Zauberflote has come to life in the 21-st century in Minnesota? For that is at the heart of the mystery of what is happening here…:-)


Were they ‘lying in wait’ at the MO? :-0

I must have had one of the most unorthodox entries into the underworld of classical music of anyone who ever attempted to enter it ‘seriously’ — young, single mother of three beautiful little children, initially working as a model, of all thing, to provide support for my family. When I called the at-that-time principal flute to ask if he might take me on as a student, I was almost apologetic. I was also hopelessly naive. My teacher switched pieces on me at the first lesson, from something I wanted to work on, to something they liked. Then he complained bitterly about the name change to Minnesota Orchestra from Minneapolis Symphony, which had occurred some years earlier. Understandably, I was quite puzzled, but, at that point, had no framework from which to object. He then proceeded to send me out on various rabbit trails, which I eventually came to realize meant that he had no intention of teaching me to do anything but fail.

I eventually realized that I had, in effect, walked into a trap. I blamed myself, for being so atypical. But were they really just lying in wait…? :-O

I used to think…:-0

As I was struggling to find my way, plunged in an atypical (to say the least) manner in the traditional classical “underworld of music”, studying flute seriously while being treated in what seemed a very disrespectful and unpredictable manner by my Minnesota Orchestra Principal teacher, Profs at the UofM, and other so-called “professionals”, I used to think, “if only I could get to Heifetz, he would understand,” and, “if only Heifetz were my teacher, others would have to treat me with respect.” Though merely a flute player, I did everything I could to pursue the dream of becoming one of his students, but to no avail. With Heifetz’ integrity of playing, exquisite artistry, and classical calm, I felt that he alone may have held the answers to any question I might had about the flute. When one of these players exclaimed, after hearing me practice a section of the Brahms violin concerto on the stage at Orchestra Hall, that I had “more power than Heifetz” I was furious. Nobody had more power than Heifetz, I thought at that time; though I have since modified my position to say that was true in many of the pieces he recorded. Though I did not realize it at the time, Heifetz had become, in essence, my teacher, through his recordings, and he could do no wrong. In fact, when he died, I felt as though I had lost a personal friend.

In my naivete I sincerely believed that because my musical situation was so unusual I had myself triggered the bullying reactions of so many “professionals”, it was not until recently that a door opened into the deep abyss that the students of Heifetz seemed to have faced. It is a thread on the Slipped Disc blog, that has turned out to be insightful and informative, and terrifyingly real:

Hopefully, this thread will help many who have been victims of bullying to regain their self-respect and calm. I know it has help me to do so…

#MinnegeddonPartDeux…Out of Night and Fog…

As events unfold, my frustration increases. Now, not only is there a major arts group that refuses to hear die zauberflote and help bring it to the public at the level of the press, there also seems to be at least one educational organization and one religious organization who are also, in effect, locking me out. For legal as well as artistic purposes, I lump them together under the term “Monostatos”, after a character who happened to be the wicked servant in Serastro’s temple in Mozart’s opera Die Zauberflote.

I can say without a doubt that many  here in Minnesota know exactly what die zauberflote represents. In fact, it seems that I don’t even seem to need to pick up the flute — people start ducking and backing away the minute I open my mouth. Why is this? Let me share my thoughts…

I think it was because of die zauberflote that Wolf was killed, whether deliberately, or through an attack of darkness I call ‘the vortex of the evil eye’ — many people in agreement that he had to die. It was this gift, this extra energy, this ‘shalom’ that can even be heard in his music when played by those who despised him — called the “Mozart effect”.  When I play die zauberflote, the effect might be called ‘the Mozart effect on steroids.’  Some people weep with joy; others gnash their teeth. In a blink of an eye, a friend can be revealed as an adversary, and years of a relationship can be shown to be a sham.  It cleaves, divides, and gets the poison out.  It turns everything upside down, but uses everything for good. It flattens all of us who hear it, my family included.

Because of this gift, and therefore for the same reason, I think,  alive, Mozart was considered dangerous. And so, apparently, am I. Wolf was silenced. I am supposed to have been silenced, through being ‘locked-out’ by those I would expect would leap at the opportunity to help mentor this great gift to the human family.

Nevertheless, as I hope you can see, anyone who plans to align themself with the great master Mozart must have tenacity. And so I am moving forward with a video, called “Out of Night and Fog.” And I am moving forward with locked-out concerts that will also be shared online, so that anyone can hear for themselves what all the fuss is about and decide for themselves what to think…